A cliche…an overused phrase, but I’m going to use it anyway.
I am quite ambivalent, debating whether I will write this article or not, as I know it will create contrasting reactions or opinions, some may raise their eyebrows, others may frown. However, the basic reason that prompted me to write this, is to paint a picture to share, of what I personally saw and observed, not to mention the information that i got first hand during my conversation with one of the persons involved. Please don’t jump into conclusions or be judgmental until you have read this article into its entirety.
Over 40 years…that’s the length of time that this male couple had been together (there…I spilled out the beans). If my math is correct, they’ve been together since the 1970’s. If my memory serves me right, during those times, this type of relationship was a highly controversial and sensitive issue; frowned by, rebuffed by society. For sure this couple weathered through life’s up’s and down’s, and faced the challenge on how to “fit in”. Against all odds, here they are, after more than 40 years, still holding on together, flame of love still burning.
Eight months ago, one of the partner was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Despite of the not so promising feedback and various negative medical opinions that they sought, they went ahead to try palliative treatments, all to no avail. He now lives at home and is being taken cared of by his partner; together they live and battle for the inevitable, taking life one day at a time.
I could see the tears welling down his cheeks, I could feel the emotion bottled inside his chest, ready to explode like a shaken champagne, as we talked in their dining room table, while his dying partner is hanging on for dear life in their bedroom.
“Not many are lucky to find their soulmate. I am. I did not will nor expect this to happen…it just did. I have never been so happy and fulfilled in my life, all these years. We have a wonderful life together. He had given me so much, more than i could ask for. And if I am to choose to live my life again, I will never change any part of it. I love him so much, it hurts to see him like this…suffering. Part of me wants to let go of him to end his pain, his misery, but I’m not ready…not yet. I don’t want to close my eyes to sleep, afraid that when I wake up, he has left me without saying goodbye. Call me selfish, but I could not imagine life without him.”
Wow! My jaw just dropped, while I listened to him. His words were so honestly spoken from the heart. As a hospice nurse, I pride myself to be always ready to deal with emotions. Not this time. All I could do was look at him; I could not even find the right words to say. Here I am, face to face with someone who did not even have second thoughts of baring his feelings about one special man, the love of his life, his one true love.
Indeed, love conquers all…
If this is not Love, unconditional Love, then what is?
Mon Feb 18, 2013
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